I have always been the guy that my friends come to for advice about their relationships, and one day it struck me: This is what I want to do with my life—to help other gay men find true love. So I wrote a book, “Lonely No More: 8 Steps to Find Your Gay Husband,” I, myself, have been happily partnered for 15 years, and had another long-term relationship before that. In the book, I draw upon my own experiences with relationships, as well as telling the stories of other gay men. I am a graduate from the Somatica Sex and Relationships Training Course and I have a certification for High-Performance Coaching from Brendan Burchard.
For my research, I talked to hundreds of people and have met hundreds of couples, people from all walks of life and different ethnic backgrounds. I am really good at helping people to step back and get a new perspective on their relationship. A lot of times guys get stuck in their old beliefs and patterns that keep them from getting what they want. I don’t tell people what to do; I just help them to explore options. I think for most gay men, the first challenge is to find clarity about what they want in a relationship and why they want it, because so many of us grew up lost, and no one gave us any direction; everything was trial and error. They also have to be open about wanting to change.
Like a lot of kids growing up, I was ashamed to be gay. Even after I came out at 21, I felt awkward and I wasn’t out to my family. Then I had a turning point: At a self-help seminar in Burlingame, we had to turn and tell a stranger our biggest fear. I told a woman that I was afraid to tell my family that I am gay, and she said, “but honey, you are from San Francisco!” Well, duh! After that, I came out to everyone, including my family. I believe all of my experiences help me to meet people wherever they are on the path to finding a relationship that lasts.
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